midnight

it just

why this thing keep happen

im so deadly stuck

to think

about 

all of these

which is wrong

which is right

getting blurred

getting pale

losing mood

cant focus

where my mind was flying?

the thing is

its not that i don't understand

i do understand u

deeply

just i cant say it

or express it

in front of u

i am rather kept quiet

because

takes time for me to expressing my mood

to let out everything

puke everything

sigh.

how can i

let go something that i have for 3 years

and choose something less than that

ridiculous

am i?

am i the one who ridiculous?

i tortured your feeling?

i am completely sorry

and begging

that i really unsure with my feeling

then how can i made a decision

keep hurting people.

who?

me.

just me. 

troubleness me.

troubling people.

which is maybe one of the reason of being hate 

by everyone around

Allah.

im not strong for all of this.

im not that strong.

im not asking for this confusion situation

im not asking to hur this till this moment.

what should i do.

im waiting for the answer.

which i also don't even know it will come

or not.

tired.

late for class.

too many assignments.